Half-Baked Alaska/Transcript
(the episode starts off in the living room at Garfield's house as the phone rings; Jon picks up the phone while Odie wants to play fetch with his stick) Jon: ''(on the phone) Hello? Oh, hello, Mr. McDougal. '''Odie: '(grunts excitedly) '' '''Jon: '(whispers to Odie) ''Not now, Odie. It's Mr. McDougal, my new boss. '''Odie: '(whimpers and walks away) Jon: '''Uh, yes, sir. What can I do for you? '''Mr. McDougal: ''(on the phone in his office) Have you forgotten that you invited me to dinner tonight, Arbuckle? ''(cut to the kitchen with Garfield and Odie) Garfield: ''(to Odie) No, I won't throw the stick. I have to make sure Jon's not ordering a pizza without telling me. ''(Garfield listens to the conversation on a cordless phone) '' '''Jon: '(on the phone) ''I have a great dinner ready for us. ''(on Garfield's end) ''I have a lasagna cooling on the window sill. '''Garfield: '(excited) ''Lasagna on the window sill? ''(Garfield runs to the window sill and quickly devours the lasagna) Mr. McDougal: '''Ah, I admire the way you plan ahead, Arbuckle. '''Jon: ''(on the phone) And I have a chocolate cake in the refrigerator. '''Garfield: '(delighted) ''Chocolate cake? ''(Garfield dashes off) Mr. McDougal: 'I like your style, Arbuckle. I really think you might be the man to run our office in Alaska. ''points to a map) '''Jon: ''(on the phone) Office in Alaska? ''(cut to the kitchen) Garfield: '''Office in Alaska? '''Mr. McDougal: ''(on the phone in his office) Great salary. Of course, you'd have to move yourself and your pets, but we'll discuss it when I get there. '''Jon: '(on the phone in the living room) ''Yeah. Uh, we'll discuss it when you get there. Uh, here. ''(dial tone is heard) ''Gee. I don't want to move to Alaska. I don't think. ''(puts the phone receiver on the lamp shade) ''I'd better make sure everything is ready for tonight. ''(cut to the kitchen) Garfield: '''Odie, Jon might move to Alaska. '''Odie: ''(whines in panic)'' Garfield: 'I feel the same way! ''(starts to walk out of the kitchen) ''I don't want to be in Alaska. I want to be here. I want to be at home. I want to be...(sees Jon glaring at him); Jon knows he ate all the food he prepared) ...as far away from this person as possible! ''(Garfield runs outside as fast as he can on all fours. Then he skids to a halt.) '''Garfield: ''(to himself)'' 'Living in Alaska. What would my life be like? It'd be cold. Brrr! ''(shivers) ''Very cold. ''(scene starts to change to his fantasy in Alaska) ''I can just see it now. I...Hold it. ''(scene chage stops and cut back to Garfield outside) '''Garfield: ''(to the viewing audience) There's nothing really wrong with your set. All those wiggly things means we're starting a fantasy sequence. ''(to the TDs) ''Okay, proceed. ''(to himself) ''What would my life be like in Alaska? ''(the scene changes to Garfield's fantasy in Alaska) (It's snowing heavily in a blizzard as we cut to Garfield's fantasy igloo where a pizza delivery man rings the doorbell; Jon comes out and gives him a tip; everyone is seen wearing heavy winter coats) Jon: 'And here's your tip. Thanks! ''(Jon takes the pizza to Garfield, who is also wearing a heavy winter coat) 'Jon: '''Your pizza, Garfield. '''Garfield: '''I hope this one's not cold like the last one. ''(Garfield opens up the box to chow down on the pizza, but it's hard as a rock) 'Garfield: '''Aah! Ooh, that smarts. ''(puts his paw on his mouth in pain) ''I knew I shouldn't have asked for it with the hard salami. ''(Odie appears, also wearing a heavy winter coat; Garfield bonks him on the head with the hard pizza before handing it off to Jon) '''Garfield: ''(to Jon) Here, give this to the city in case they have an open manhole. '''Jon: '''Why don't you go see what's in the ice box? '''Garfield: '''See what's in the ice box? The whole house is an ice box. ''(Garfield walks to the refrigerator) ''The refrigerator's the warmest place for ten miles. ''(sees a polar bear in the refrigerator, eating the food) ''See what's in the refrigerator? How about a bear? ''(to the polar bear as he taps on it) ''Hey, you! You can't eat that ham! ''(Garfield kicks the polar bear) Polar Bear: ''(roars)'' Garfield: 'Like I said, you can't eat that ham without a slide of coleslaw! ''(Garfield takes out the coleslaw, but the polar bear chomps down on the can of coleslaw and his coat sleeve) 'Garfield: '''Help! Help! Bear in the kitchen! ''(Garfield runs from the igloo) 'Garfield: '''Real-life bear in the kitchen! Help! Indigenous species! Help! ''(The Alaska fantasy sequence ends, and we see Garfield running in circles) 'Garfield: '''The bear is...huh? ''(sees Odie and stops) (to Odie) ''Odie, we have to stop Jon from taking that job in Alaska. ''(Garfield walks and Odie walks behind him) ''But how? How could he do this to us? Doesn't he have a conscience? ''(gasps) ''Odie! That's the answer! ''(Garfield stops and Odie bumps into him) ''Remember that cricket who acted as my conscience in that cartoon a few weeks ago? ''(Odie shakes his head) ''Come on! We have to find him! ''(Garfield races off, dragging Odie with him) '''Odie: ''(exclaiming) Hold on! '''Garfield: '''I just got a change of address form from him. He's living down by the lake. ''(the scene changes to a large lake at night; Garfield and Odie have arrived at Ichabod Cricket's small house on the edge of the lake; an owl is heard hooting in the background) Ichabod: 'No, no, no, no. I got out of the conscience business months ago. No call for it these days. I've been making a good living doing sound effects. '''Garfield: '''Sound effects? '''Ichabod: '''Absolutely. Have you ever been to a movie and heard this? ''(clears throat) '' ''(Ichabod moves his arms and legs and does cricket chirps in three different positions) 'Garfield: '''Sure. '''Ichabod: '''That's me. So, you want me to give you good advice? ''(Ichabod leaps into Garfield's paw) 'Garfield: '''No, I want you to give someone else bad advice. ''(Ichabod gives it a lot a thought just as the scene cuts back to Garfield's house where Jon and Mr. McDougal are already together; Garfield, Odie, and Ichabod arrive) 'Garfield: '''Looks like dinner's already started. Hope we're in time. ''(cut to the living room where Mr. McDougal has already sat down) 'Jon: '''Mr. McDougal, about that offer to go work in Alaska... '''Mr. McDougal: '''Talk later, Arbuckle. I'm starved. '''Jon: '''I'll go get dinner. Right away. ''(cut back outside) '''Garfield: ''(to Ichabod) Okay, now, remember what I told you to say. '''Ichabod: '''Got it. ''(cricket chirps) (Garfield puts Ichabod in the window just as Jon wheels a cart of food to the table) Jon: 'Here's dinner, Mr. McDougal. ''(Ichabod starts climbing up to Jon's head) '''Jon: ''(to Mr. McDougal) I'll start serving the salad. ''(Ichabod has finished his climb) Ichabod: ''(panting) What a long climb. I wish Garfield lived with someone shorter. ''(in Jon's ear) ''Hello, in there! ''("Hello, in there!" echoes; Jon is surprised to hear someone calling to him) '' '''Ichabod: '(to himself) ''Absolutely empty in there. Must be a cartoonist. '''Jon: '(to Mr. McDougal) ''This is my special salad, sir. I put in oil, vinegar, and croutons, then I toss lightly... '''Ichabod: '(in Jon's ear) ''And then you put it on your head. '''Jon: '...and then I put it on my head. (Jon puts the bowl of salad on his head, upside down, causing it to fall out all over) Mr. McDougal: '''Arbuckle! '''Jon: '''I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that, sir. ''(puts the salad bowl down) ''Have some lasagna. It's got cheese and sausage... '''Ichabod: ''(in Jon's ear)'' Jon: 'And your old gym shorts...No, I mean, it's good! ''(Garfield are looking in and snickering at what's going on) '''Jon: '''Let me serve you some. I always serve it piping hot. '''Ichabod: ''(in Jon's ear) And r''ight in the fat guy's lap. Jon: 'And right in the fat guy's lap. ''(Jon drops the hot lasagna on Mr. McDougal's lap, causing him to yell out in pain) '''Mr. McDougal: ''(exclaiming)'' Jon: '''Mr. McDinner, I'm real sorry about this dougal, but I have dessert. ''(takes the plate with a chocolate cake) ''Please, sit down. Relax. '''Ichabod: ''(in Jon's ear) And let me shove it in your face. '''Jon: '''And let me shove it in your face. ''(quickly stops short) ''No! I shouldn't do this! '''Ichabod: '(in Jon's ear) ''Yes, you should. This is your conscience speaking. '''Jon: '''Yes, I will. No, I shouldn't! Oh, Should I? Or shouldn't I? '''Mr. McDougal: '''Arbuckle! If you hit me with that cake, you can forget about that great job in Alaska! '''Ichabod: '(in Jon's ear) ''Let him have it. '''Jon: '''I have to do what my conscience tells me. ''(Mr. McDougal gets up and nervously backs away from Jon, who is still threatening to hit him in the face with that cake; Garfield and Odie are still looking and snickering; Jon is still advancing on Mr. McDougal; just when he's about to hit him, he dashes out the door) Mr. McDougal: 'That's it, Arbuckle! You can ''FORGET about Alaska! (Jon is now chasing Mr. McDougal all over the neighborhood as Garfield and Odie shake paws for a job well done; the scene changes to a little bit later, as Jon, Garfield, and Odie are sitting on the front porch step) '''Jon: '''I don't know what came over me. But my conscience said I had to do it. ''(to Garfield and Odie) ''You guys haven't eaten. I haven't eaten. ''(to Garfield) ''You want to go get us a monster-sized pizza? '''Odie: ''(barks excitedly)'' Garfield: ''(licking his face) Lay some cash on me, and I'll be back in a jiffy with pie. '''Jon: '''I'll just take my wallet out... ''(Jon does so) Ichabod: ''(still in Jon's ear) And you'll give all your money to the cricket. ''(the cricket jumps down) Jon: '...and I'll give all my money to the cricket. ''(The cricket hops down and takes Jon's money, much to their shock '''All: '''Huh? '''Odie: ''(barks)'' (Garfield, Odie, and Jon chase after the cricket all over the neighborhood) 'Jon: '''Hey! Come back here! '''Garfield: '''Hey, wait a minute! '''Jon: '''Where are you going? That's my money! '''Garfield: '''Hey, I love you, man! Wait a minute! ''(episode ends) Category:Transcript Category:Garfield and Friends Category:Garfield and Friends episodes, Season 7